You know you’re Pregnant when…
- The toilet becomes your best friend.
Your husband is like …. - Brushing your teeth becomes nauseating.
- Every smell triggers nausea.
- Shaving your vagina is like trying to find a lego piece in sand.
- Your belly becomes a table.
- You cry for everything and anything.
- You want to punch the waiter because he said there’s no apple pie left.
- You can’t paint your toenails.
- Trying to wake up from the couch feels like…
- You eat peanut butter, banana with bacon and think that’s divine.
- You can’t see your feet because your boobs and tummy are now double it’s size.
- You grab almost everything with your toes.
- You start crying because you can’t see your vagina any more.
- You get asked “when are you due” or “do you know the sex yet” at least 5 times a day.
- You walk into the office and someone offers you a chair to sit and a doughnut to eat.
- You walk into a room and can’t remember the reason you did.
- You bend over to pick something up and look for what else you can pick up while you down there.
- Heels becomes slippers.
- Reaching for a snack on the other end of the table feels like an hour in slow motion.
- You waddle so much, penguins start feeling intimated.
- You start using your husbands shirts.
- Walking to the bathroom feels like you climbing a mountain.
- You fall asleep in the movies.
- You need a nap to prepare for bedtime.
- You want to punch the stranger reaching out to rub your belly.
- Sex becomes an urge you can’t get rid of. (For some)
- Watching fifty shades of grey is better than sex. (For many)
- Your dreams become weird, you think you may need a therapist if you dream about that dwarf one more time.
- You hide a chocolate from everyone at home but forget where you hid it.
- You save your best panties for your doctor’s appointment.
- Your husband tells you how big your ass is and what a cute whale you would make. Whaaaat?!
- You become lazy and moody.
- Your vagina feels like its falling apart.
- Taking out your bra feels like heaven on earth, it feels so good to set the girls free.
- You become more obsessed with your boobs than your husband.
- You laugh, pee and fart at the same time.
- You start yawning at 7pm.
- Your pregnancy “glow” starts with acne.
- You cross your legs to sneeze or cough.
- Your feet are the size of Durban.
- You pee like a gazillion times a day but only a teaspoon full comes out.
- You constipated then it finally comes… You scream with joy telling your partner how nice that felt. TMI!
- You sleep with a long sausage called a pregnancy pillow. 😮
- Heartburn becomes your biggest enemy.
- Laying on the bed naked during summer still feels like you a roasting chicken.
- Everything you eat gives you walking farts.
- You hide Oreos in your handbag.
- You eat almost every hour and still want more.
- You look at the scale, get depressed then eat some more.
- Getting dressed everyday becomes emotional.
- You end up shaving your legs for your Gynae instead of your husband.
- Sweatpants become your best friend.
- You leave home wearing your dress inside out.
- You find yourself sliding out of bed every day.
- You start mixing up your friends, kids and co-workers names.
If you think I missed any, please comment below and share your thoughts so we can all have a good laugh and celebrate the humor of pregnancy!
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69 comments
OMG, I LOVE this article! It’s all so, so true. I ate like a horse non-stop! Being pregnant is both the best and worst experience imaginable.
My tummy was definitely my table and I had stains all over my maternity tops lol. My second child was 10 lb 7 oz, so I was NOT comfortable at all lol. Now he is almost 6’6″ but skinny as a rail!
Ha ha! So many of these were exactly my experience too! Especially the one about needing a nap before bedtime :-). It’s all worth it, but sometimes it can be a pain!
You are hilarious! This is SO perfect! I was convinced that my husband must be drugging me because I was SOOO tired all the time. When I got to the third trimester I was using my stomach as my table too!
That’s a pretty comprehensive list. It is absolutely true, too. I remember when I was pregnant feeling every one of these and using my belly for a table.
So I am due tomorrow and I am SOOOO anxious but I read this and It cheered me up… So tonight while I was using my tummy as a plate, I spilt a spoonful of food on my plate, laughed hysterically at my clumsiness then let out a poof and almost wet my pants all at once… On top of that I lost my mind when my cousin asked for chocolate omg pregnancy can be so embarrassing
I always enjoyed being pregnant. I took in all the bad and good and embraced it.
Why do strangers think they have the right to reach out and touch that tummy? And all those questions! This entire list is so true! I remember those days.
These are so funny! This definitely brought back some memories. Those cravings were crazy.
This post is REAL! I laughed way too many times, and man I do NOT miss being pregnant.
Awww…this is hilarious! While I only experienced pregnancy once, I loved every minute of it. And, yes, I obsessed over my own boobs more than my husband…lol
These are too funny and it brought back a lot of memories. With my two pregnancies, I never experienced morning sickness.
Haha! These are all great. I definitely have heartburn forever when I was pregnant. And I definitely loved my sweatpants.
Hahaha the ONLY times I’ve shaved in the last 3 months have been before a Drs appointment. No way am I putting that much effort in for the husband who did this to me in the first place 😛
Also seriously miss having pretty painted toe nails. Thank heavens it’s winter. Yay Ugly UGGS all the way!!
These are seriously GREAT, I giggled at number 4. Thank you for sharing.
This is too funny! But I haven’t experienced all of those when I was pregnant though. I do remember feeling so sleepy all the time.
This is an awesome list. I remember these days so well. My third pregnancy was rough. I had spd and it hurt so bad that I would cringe when I moved.
This was such a funny post to read! I remember the days when I had to experience all those lovely little things!
I’m not able to have kids, so I know zip about these other than what I have lived through with friends and family. Some of them really made me laugh.
What a cute article. I have had 3 so I feel your pain.
These are hilarious and I can totally relate. My “baby” is 3 years old but I remember it like it was yesterday. I didn’t have names for my kids (2 total) until they were born.
I had insomnia so bad during my preganancy and I would find myself cying because I was so tuired but couldmn’t sleep. I still have it but not as bad as when I was preggy. Hope you are feeling much better.
Oh pregnancy. Done is 6 times and and now on my 7th (no one knows yet, shhh!) and I will tell you the insomnia is a struggle. Even now super early on for me, GAH!
I’m ine of those weird people that wasn’t phased by pregnancy until I was almost ready to pop. The last few weeks…. Omg I wanted someone to shoot me lol
Some of these were funny. I remember going to McDonalds and they were out of fries. How in the world were they out of fries?!
OH goodness this is a great and funny article!!! Gave me quiet the chuckle! My boys are 4 and 6, but I recall it like it was yesterday!
So funny! I remember so many of these things about being pregnant. Now it’s my daughter’s turn to enjoy all the fun!
This is hilarious because it is true!!! Have you put on two different shoes yet :)? Been there. 🙂 or have to have someone tie your shoes for you 🙂
OMG This was so funny, I couldn’t stop laughing as I read the entire list. It’s so much fun to look back on this but WHILE you are pregnant this isn’t so funny lol
It is hard to be pregnant in the summer. The third trimester was the worst – I was so swollen.
I only experienced nausea once or twice during my first pregnancy, but I believe I was sick throughout my second pregnancy! The summer heat even made it worse.
HilLesha
I’ve never been pregnant but this list is hilarious!! I do feel soooo sorry for my friends that are big preggo over the summer months. That’s got to be rough!!
Hahahah these crack me up! I remember being like “no one told me this happens when you’re pregnant”.
These are funny! And true. Though I find myself nodding off at 9 (not quite 7). Must be an old lady thing here cuz I’m def. not pregnant. 😉
Ha! Oh my goodness, I was just telling my husband that I miss being pregnant. And now I remember why I really really dont!
Oh this is too funny! And so very true. I love the GIFs – especially the cat one.
Thanks for sharing your list that did make me laugh today! I don’t get people who want to rub pregnant women’s bellies! To me, that is just not okay! I bet you can even re-read your own post and find something to laugh about again!
lol shame it must be getting uncomfortable now! nearly there!
Ha! Oh my goodness, I was just telling my husband that I miss being pregnant. And now I remember why I really really dont!
islam quotes about life
I just gave birth two weeks ago and I hope your 3d trimester is going well. You’ll get there soon.
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